Have you ever been mindlessly scrolling through your feeds and suddenly experienced a sucker-punch of feelings upon spotting someone sharing their picture-perfect family day or mastering some aspect of mom life when you’re just trying to make it through yet another day with your sanity in check?
Yep. It’s real and it’s brutal. For all the helpful info and much-deserved support you can find on social media, it’s easy to fall into a trap of mom guilt, which existed long before we lived our lives tethered to tiny digital devices but now feels impossible to disconnect from. If you’ve been struggling with mom guilt about not “measuring up” to some arbitrary standards set by parents you know IRL and/or momfluencers online, you’re not alone. In fact, a new survey shows that the overwhelming majority of moms have compared themselves to other moms on social media, and it’s contributing to a toxic effect on our mental health and well-being.
The pros at Little Sleepies recently asked 1,000 moms with kids aged 10 and under who use social media to share their thoughts about mom guilt, and their responses further illuminate what so many know to be true: parenting in an era of endless feeds is no picnic.
Nearly three-quarters of moms surveyed (72.5%) say they compare themselves to other moms on social media, with 24.5% doing so often and 48% sometimes. Nearly 1 in 5 moms (18.8%) note that social media has negatively influenced their parenting style, with 40.6% of respondents admitting they sometimes compare their child’s development to those shown by momfluencers. Close to 35% report feeling pressured to create and share content that portrays a “perfect” parenting style and lifestyle.
More than half of moms (52.5%) admit to experiencing mom guilt sometimes, while 24.3% often feel it. Of this overwhelming majority, nearly 60% note a link between the guilt they feel and what they see from fellow parents and momfluencers online.
So, all this to say that you’re not alone in whatever you might feel when you scroll through your feeds. Research has also shown that idealized portrayals of motherhood can negatively impact your mental and physical well-being, contributing to feelings of anxiety, envy, shame, and social comparison—all of which is pervasive no matter the source, be it from local moms you know or social media strangers you follow from afar.
Tough as it can be, stepping away from social media—even for just a few hours, but longer breaks are beneficial, too—can help reduce those unpleasant feelings, allowing you to remain more present in your life away from the screen. Chatting with a therapist can also provide tools to help you cope with these icky feelings. Take care of yourself—whatever that looks like for you. You deserve it, we promise.
