Raising respectful kids isn’t about demanding obedience—it’s about nurturing their emotional security.
As a mom of five, I’ve learned that behavior is just the tip of the iceberg, revealing deeper emotions. While I want my kids to be kind and respectful, I don’t want them stuck in people-pleasing mode.
That’s why I loved this video from Amanda, M.Ed, BCBA, LBA—it’s not about forcing good behavior but creating the right environment for it.
By connecting, validating, reasoning with, and setting boundaries for their children, parents create an environment where kids feel safe and supported—even when their behavior isn’t perfect.
In her now-viral TikTok video with over 1.3 million views, Amanda shares four key parenting practices that contribute to well-adjusted, emotionally secure kids.
1. They Really Listen to Their Kids
It sounds simple, but in a world filled with distractions, truly listening to your child takes effort. “Not texting while their child is talking to them. Not distracted while they’re playing. They’re listening, they’re engaged, they’re attuned,” Amanda explains. Kids thrive when they feel heard, and this level of attentiveness builds trust and emotional security.
2. They Validate Their Child’s Emotions
Validating emotions doesn’t mean you have to agree with your child, but it does mean acknowledging their feelings. Amanda recommends simple responses like, ‘I hear you’ or ‘It looks like you’re upset right now.’ This helps children process emotions in a healthy way and learn that their feelings are valid.
3. They Explain Their Decisions
“Well-behaved” kids aren’t just disciplined; they understand why certain rules exist. Amanda advises parents to give clear, logical reasons when denying requests. Instead of just saying “No, we can’t go outside,” try: “No, we can’t go outside right now because it’s raining and it’s almost bedtime. Maybe we can try again tomorrow.” This approach helps kids develop reasoning skills and accept boundaries without unnecessary power struggles.
4. They Stick to Boundaries
Parents of well-behaved kids don’t let their children run the show. “They say what they mean, and they mean what they say,” Amanda explains. Setting and enforcing clear boundaries teaches children respect, self-discipline, and the ability to handle disappointment.
Related: Dad’s viral Reddit post reveals why setting boundaries to protect kids—even from toxic family dynamics—is so hard
What the comments section had to say
Amanda’s TikTok sparked an outpouring of discussion, with thousands of parents weighing in:
- “Apologize to your kids when you make a mistake or overreact.” – @Poetry3om3
- Amanda replied: “YEP! Parents are human 🥰”
- “I behaved as a kid because I was terrified of my parents. Still am.” – @Savanah
- Amanda replied: “I’m so sorry you were/are terrified 😞 sending love 💓💓”
- “And lots of preparation: we’re headed to a bday party, remind me of some of the things we should
remember (say hi, include others, take turns, etc.). Drives to every place was a chat about expectations.” – @Anne Clery- Amanda replied: “LOVE THIS👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 yes girl!!!”
- “I do all these things but my son is still a nightmare at times. I think it’s important for moms to know they can do their best and their kids still misbehave.” – @Mamarawr
- Amanda replied: “Yes no one is perfect and there will be times when they are kids! Keep up the hard work and be so proud of the kiddos you’re working so hard to raise 🥰”
- Amanda replied: “Yes no one is perfect and there will be times when they are kids! Keep up the hard work and be so proud of the kiddos you’re working so hard to raise 🥰”
- “And you can do ALL these things and still have a toddler have tantrums. Sometimes the kid’s temperament wins.” – @brenden
- Amanda replied: “Exactly, no one is perfect and especially not little human beings 💓 the goal is over time we start seeing tantrums and unwanted behavior less and less.”
Related: Mom’s viral TikTok on parenting adult kids sparks debate over her ‘controversial’ rules
Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about consistency. While no child is immune to meltdowns, practicing these four strategies can foster a respectful, emotionally intelligent, and well-adjusted child over time. And if your child still has tough moments (because, of course, they will), Amanda reminds us: “Parents need to be so proud of how far they’ve come!”
