See, I always knew a vegetarian diet wasn’t good for people. In a stunning repudiation of the leftist advocacy for vegan diets, the United States Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) has uncovered a major smuggling ring in Atlanta, Georgia, in which 2,300 pounds of crystal meth was found concealed in… celery.
Yes, really.
Celery was used to conceal more than 2,300 pounds (1,043 kilograms) of meth that federal agents discovered in a truck at a farmers market outside Atlanta, the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration said.
In what the DEA called one of the largest seizures of its kind, agents confiscated the drugs being delivered to the Atlanta State Farmers Market in Forest Park, authorities said at a Monday news conference, WAGA-TV reported.
The agency had learned about a semitrailer coming across the Mexican border and agents tracked the drugs to the farmers market, said DEA Special Agent in Charge Robert Murphy. The drugs were found inside the truck, he said.
“This was contained in a cover load of celery,” Murphy said. “It was hiding in the celery. Obviously, we threw away the celery. That didn’t make it to the store.”
That last sentence is, in fact, the very definition of “belaboring the obvious.”
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This may be the first time anyone in human history has found a use for celery other than as a delivery system for peanut butter or cream cheese.
Here’s the interesting bit:
Using produce to conceal drugs has become a frequent tactic of smugglers, authorities said.
Hah! Amateurs. Johnny-come-latelies. When I was in high school — bear in mind that this was in the days when one could buy a beer or a bottle of hooch at age 18 — my friends and I would, on occasion, eat lunch in our high school cafeteria. (This is relevant, I promise.) Some of the teachers who had lunch-room duty on those days may have wondered why some of us brought several oranges each to lunch, and why we left the lunch room a trifle unsteady.
Well, the reason for that was that my best buddy’s mom was a nurse, and she supplied us with some empty syringes, which we used to inject vodka into the oranges in question. Granted, this was a different era. But the transport of illicit substances in produce is, believe me, nothing new.
But crystal meth — that’s quite a bit different than a few Iowa high-schoolers getting (legally, but still) a tad unsteady by eating vodka-infused oranges. The odd tot of vodka, in moderation, is nothing particularly harmful, but meth is poison; our oldest daughter, who has (as I’ve mentioned) worked in emergency medicine for almost twenty years, has told us many tales of people who arrive in the ER with meth-related issues. It’s good that the DEA and the Georgia authorities intercepted this material. Let’s hope they keep it up.
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