Ridley Scott’s “Gladiator” won the best picture Oscar nearly 24 years ago, taking five awards from 12 nominations, including a lead actor trophy for star Russell Crowe. Now, “Gladiator II” has arrived in theaters — and in the viewing portal for film academy members. Will you be inspired to return the sequel to the arena of the Academy Awards? At my signal, unleash hell and take the following quiz to find out.
Gender:
Male (10)
Female (3)
None of your damn business! (5)
Generation:
Boomer (10)
X (6)
Millennial (2)
Do you like movies about gladiators?
Yes! (10)
Uuuummm … how do you mean? (3)
You voted for “Gladiator” in 2001:
Yes! I love old-fashioned spectacle! (10)
No. I’m a serious person. (2)
I wasn’t born yet. (0)
What is the “dream of the Roman Empire”?
Stability, order, cultural dominance. (8)
All-you-can-eat breadsticks at Olive Garden. (5)
Standout sight of grandeur in the movie:
Opening battle when Marcus leads a fleet of ships to conquer Numidia. (10)
The naval clash with the Colosseum flooded. (10)
Pedro Pascal’s eyebrows. (0)
Last best picture winner you loved:
“Parasite” (5)
“Moonlight” (2)
“Gladiator” (10)
First question you had when the movie ended:
Did the Romans really use rhinos in gladiator fights? (8)
Would I bite a monkey if push came to shove? (7)
Where can I buy Denzel Washington’s leopard-print robe? (2)
Favorite food:
Pizza (8)
Pasta, al dente (5)
Raw liver (10)
You picture the afterlife:
I don’t. We are food for worms. (2)
A spiritual realm where we’ll be reunited with loved ones who have passed away. (4)
Fields of wheat. Maybe with that Sting song playing. (10)
Place where you can picture following Paul Mescal:
Into battle (8)
Into the pub (5)
Into the bedroom (7)
All of the above! (10)
Your child refuses to clean their plate at the dinner table. Your response:
Patiently explain the importance of vegetables to their health. (1)
Challenge them to a fight to the death. (8)
YOU CAN EAT WAR! (10)
TV show I’m bingeing right now:
“Yellowstone” (10)
“Call the Midwife” (2)
“Gossip Girl” (0)
Wall plaque hanging in your kitchen:
“Eat. Drink. Love.” (4)
“This kitchen is seasoned with love.” (0)
“Where we are, death is not.” (9)
When you toured the Colosseum while visiting Rome, first question that crossed your mind:
Where’s the gift shop? (2)
Where’s the bathroom? (4)
Where are the sharks? (8)
Your Roman Empire:
Uuuuummm … the actual Roman Empire? (10)
“Pride and Prejudice” (4)
Taylor and Travis (0)
Last great Ridley Scott film:
“Napoleon” (7)
“Gladiator” (10)
“Thelma & Louise” (6)
“Alien” (3)
Still waiting … (0)
Favorite companion:
Spouse (2)
BFF (7)
Pet monkey (10)
Weekend plans:
Get in a hike, enjoy a meal at my favorite bistro. (2)
Arm-wrestling competition at the bar down the street. (7)
Imagine disemboweling my enemies while making a yummy risotto. (10)
Primary takeaway from the film:
Scenery-chewing Denzel is the best Denzel! (9)
Russell Crowe > Paul Mescal … at least in this type of spectacle. (3)
What we do in life echoes in eternity. (10)
SCORING:
130 and above: You like “Gladiator” movies!
70-129: Veni, vidi, vici.
Below 70: You were most definitely not entertained.
